I am sure I'm not the only one who has one of those spoilers in their life. The kind of person who seems on the outside to be a real cheerleader and supporter, but in fact is the kind of person who throws a moneky wrench into the works - effectively screwing up my plans. I do. I won't name names, but it's really upsetting me. Claiming I "willfully misunderstood" a request/plea so that my efforts are now doomed to failure. In fact I did not misunderstand. The request was quite clear and I was working hard toward the requested goal. Now suddenly that goal is moot and I'm "failing" because I should have known, but didn't, what the REAL request was.
I'm tired. A bad night's sleep (horrid winds and a couple of tree branches that I ended up getting up at 6:30 AM to drag my pruner around and chop them off. Garbage had to be hauled out and the interminable Thanksgiving dishes are still being washed (though, in all honestly, Thursday's dishes were done, but with my brother here we are going through those pots and pans at record speed). Food shopping, feeding animals and now the sun has set and what was a beautiful day was spoiled by someone who can't bear to see me succeed at anything.
Sometimes I just wonder when I'm going to get some "me" time and be left alone - without the constant editorializing about what I'm doing wrong.
Sigh.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
All Good Things Must End (or time to stop the madness)
I joined RWA about, oh, 20 years ago. Now admittedly for a decade or so I paid little attention to the operation itself. I'd joined the NYC chapter and never went to those meetings either.
I attended the NYC National Conference in 1993 and again in 2003. And in between, I tried to re-connect with the NYC Chapter. In September, 2001. I went to a meeting on Saturday, September 8, 2001. Then never heard from anyone again. So it wasn't until 2004 when I decided to get back into the swing of things. I looked up the RWA/NYC and re-joined and started attending meetings every so often. Then in 2005 I started attending regularly. Then I ended up on the Board where I remained for 2 1/2 years (give or take). And I joined on-line chapters and sat on their Boards.
And in this time I began focusing a good deal more on the National operation; their philosophy, business acumen and so forth. And after 3 years I've sadly concluded that they are no longer the place for me.
Too much close-mindedness about the technology that is now driving the industry. Too much paternalistic nonsense about "protecting" their members instead of educating (I'm all for assistance in promulgating good working conditions for authors, but when it's National's way or the highway? Well, that's not what I'm looking for. Give me the objective information and I'll make my own decisions.)
I'd hoped for a new Board for 2010, that would have a different tack, but unfortunately it appears to be more of the same, or worse. So when the latest bru-haha arose (Jane Litte's no longer welcome because she is "un-supportive" - which I can only translate to be that she was critical of National's choices and advocacy) I decided that sitting on RWA chapter boards, volunteering for committees (election, contest, membership, bylaws) was benefitting everyone but me. Because I wasn't getting anything back. My choice of romance is erotic romance. Not supported by National. And I think that the digital era is wholly upon us and offers much for the romance author, esp. one writing outside the box. Still looked upon as the ugly redheaded stepchild by RWA. And if voicing opposition is no longer acceptable? Well, hell, I'll take my stories and go play with the other kids. You know the ones. The folks who take chances and don't whine and know that in the real world there are going to be some mistakes that sting until we learn the path that is right for us. Not be told we are not "real" authors unless we subscribe to an antiquated yardstick. Not be treated as though we are mentally deficient if we disagree with the National logic. Not be called writers of "porn" or whores because we choose a genre that has proven to be wildly popular but is still viewed as not romantic or not good writing.
No, I've dedicated enough energy, I think. There are a lot of organizations out there. Some who have similar rules, but if I join them now, it's with my eyes open and a determination that I won't be volunteering my time. And some don't have the same rules. Some organizations treat their writers as professionals rather than children. Since I know to cross the street when I have a "WALK" sign, not to take candy from strangers and, heaven forbid, walk alone in Central Park at night, I think I'm adult enough to make decisions about my own career without inuendo and condescention.
Gee, do you think I'm bitter much? A lot of years of energy down the tubes. Time to get started on me. Let the other folks learn what they need to learn. And make the mistakes, get the skinned knees (figuratively speaking) and get educated.
Me, I'm off to write. Paranormals where I can make the world according to my own vision.
With tons of hot sex, of course!
Friday, November 13, 2009
November 13, 2009 - Friday the 13th!
I love Friday the 13th. I'm not at all superstitious and I actually seem to get an extra dose of energy and enthusiasm on these days. Maybe that is why I'm feeling especially optimistic and determined today. But it might also be the confluence of events that transpired - all yesterday.
I chatted briefly with my old boss, a great lady who was one of 5 of the attorneys I worked for who, 2 years ago, banded together to buy me a laptop for my Christmas gift. An incredible gesture, but also one that showed their support for my writing endeavors. She was, thereafter, a great champion of my contest wins and my various efforts. She left about 8 months ago and I rarely see or speak to her. Yesterday, however, she called and we chatted for a minute. And she asked me, "How's your writing going?". Then a short while later, a young woman I work with stopped by to fill me in on what was happening with a serious personal project of hers, and ended the conversation by asking me how my writing was going, and telling me how excited she was for me to have a book for her to read, and watching the process. THEN, I was asked to walk a client through a signing process (routine, and very easy). There were tons of signature pages and lots of copies, so it took a while and we chatted. I mentioned I didn't mind train delays because I always have a book with me, he asked me what I was reading and I told him it was a book called Get Known Before the Book Deal. He asked if I was a writer. I said yes - he's a screenwriter, and his latest film is just getting underway. He asked me about my book and I told him all about the "books of my heart", my 5 book World War II series on women (nurses, spies, scientists, pilots and journalists) in the War. He told me he thought the idea was "genius" and he asked to see the finished product. I smiled and said, "why thank you", and he reiterated. "No, I mean it. I really want to see it."
That left me floating all afternoon - it wasn't much. It was just validation. I haven't been getting much of that lately (in fact I'm feeling, emotionally, like I went a few rounds with Russel Crowe in Gladiator- bloody, but unbowed). And it felt great to get these 3 individual "pats on the back".
So today I'm feeling good. Like I've had the emotional equivalent of a B12 shot. Energetic, rarin' to go. And confident that I will see the fruits of my labors ripen and be made into pie.
Or something like that.
I chatted briefly with my old boss, a great lady who was one of 5 of the attorneys I worked for who, 2 years ago, banded together to buy me a laptop for my Christmas gift. An incredible gesture, but also one that showed their support for my writing endeavors. She was, thereafter, a great champion of my contest wins and my various efforts. She left about 8 months ago and I rarely see or speak to her. Yesterday, however, she called and we chatted for a minute. And she asked me, "How's your writing going?". Then a short while later, a young woman I work with stopped by to fill me in on what was happening with a serious personal project of hers, and ended the conversation by asking me how my writing was going, and telling me how excited she was for me to have a book for her to read, and watching the process. THEN, I was asked to walk a client through a signing process (routine, and very easy). There were tons of signature pages and lots of copies, so it took a while and we chatted. I mentioned I didn't mind train delays because I always have a book with me, he asked me what I was reading and I told him it was a book called Get Known Before the Book Deal. He asked if I was a writer. I said yes - he's a screenwriter, and his latest film is just getting underway. He asked me about my book and I told him all about the "books of my heart", my 5 book World War II series on women (nurses, spies, scientists, pilots and journalists) in the War. He told me he thought the idea was "genius" and he asked to see the finished product. I smiled and said, "why thank you", and he reiterated. "No, I mean it. I really want to see it."
That left me floating all afternoon - it wasn't much. It was just validation. I haven't been getting much of that lately (in fact I'm feeling, emotionally, like I went a few rounds with Russel Crowe in Gladiator- bloody, but unbowed). And it felt great to get these 3 individual "pats on the back".
So today I'm feeling good. Like I've had the emotional equivalent of a B12 shot. Energetic, rarin' to go. And confident that I will see the fruits of my labors ripen and be made into pie.
Or something like that.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
October 27, 2009
It's Tuesday of my last vacation week of 2009. And it is raining. And it is going to rain tomorrow. And Saturday. And Sunday. Cripes.
Well, I'm trying to take the Pollyanna approach and be glad - that it is raining; because now I need no excuse as to why I'm not out raking or cleaning the gutters or pruning back dead summer plants. I have to stay in the house and that means I can - ORGANIZE. I'm a total failure at organization. I'm a packrat and I can't throw anything away and I am always absolutely positive EVERYTHING will, one day, be very useful and must be saved. Given that my house is a small, unexpanded Levitt house (Cape style) that means I'm surrounded by chaos.
NaNo is just around the corner and I've got a good idea (a promise to my Mother, actually that the novel will be her Christmas gift - Oy vey.) and I've got some energy going and enthusiasm about getting underway. So what I need to do now is be organized - so I can find those craft references and research books that I will be needing as I go. So I can find my "lucky" fountain pen to write with (it made me absolutely successful in 2006 with my "Just In Time" time travel/romance/suspense/Jack The Ripper thriller....). And so I can feel as though I'm not inundated and overwhelmed (which is usually how I feel).
I'm anxious to get the L&L contest taken care of and wrapped up (I dread going back to my work email and finding the further problems that my judges have emailed me about....) so that I can face the end of the year (Goddess, where HAS it gone?!) and be prepared for 2010 with my life less insane, and my space all neat and organized and ready for me to be productive.
So on that note, guess it's time to CLEAN HOUSE!
Well, I'm trying to take the Pollyanna approach and be glad - that it is raining; because now I need no excuse as to why I'm not out raking or cleaning the gutters or pruning back dead summer plants. I have to stay in the house and that means I can - ORGANIZE. I'm a total failure at organization. I'm a packrat and I can't throw anything away and I am always absolutely positive EVERYTHING will, one day, be very useful and must be saved. Given that my house is a small, unexpanded Levitt house (Cape style) that means I'm surrounded by chaos.
NaNo is just around the corner and I've got a good idea (a promise to my Mother, actually that the novel will be her Christmas gift - Oy vey.) and I've got some energy going and enthusiasm about getting underway. So what I need to do now is be organized - so I can find those craft references and research books that I will be needing as I go. So I can find my "lucky" fountain pen to write with (it made me absolutely successful in 2006 with my "Just In Time" time travel/romance/suspense/Jack The Ripper thriller....). And so I can feel as though I'm not inundated and overwhelmed (which is usually how I feel).
I'm anxious to get the L&L contest taken care of and wrapped up (I dread going back to my work email and finding the further problems that my judges have emailed me about....) so that I can face the end of the year (Goddess, where HAS it gone?!) and be prepared for 2010 with my life less insane, and my space all neat and organized and ready for me to be productive.
So on that note, guess it's time to CLEAN HOUSE!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Too many irons in too many overheated fires...
September 22, 2009.
OK, so I got out of the dumps that September 11th engendered. Then I got past my local chapter's awards event that sucked some more life out of me (rather the way the Dementor's sucked the joy out of the folks at Hogwarts?). The contest I am chairing is creeping along .... we may have enough entries to run it. The election committee I am chairing for said chapter (by default as the only one not running) is set for candidates (for now).
I was just getting ready to get back into the swing of my personal things. You know, writing, and stuff. I had gotten all revved up to get back to my World War II series and started researching, bought books, came up with a title and was chatting about it on my Yahoo group for the September challenge when Mom gets into the act.
My Mother - who nudges me constantly about never finishing my writing projects (OKAY SO SHE'S RIGHT! LET'S MOVE ON!) decided on what she wanted for Christmas. A finished book. She figures it's easy if I write "what I know" (i.e., being a legal secretary in an entertainment law firm). So since I'm poor, I never know what to buy her ANYWAY, and since it will keep her off my broken down back, I'm plugging away at this book. Fortunately, an idea came to me and the kernal of plot has blossomed into something else. I'm saying the concept is "Working Girl meets Charmed". Because, knowing me - well, you don't, but you're probably getting an idea, right? - it must have some paranormal in it! So enter my female protagonist - a WASP "White, Anglo-Saxon Pagan".
And we're off and running.
And if the pressure from Mom weren't enough, another gal, at my day job, who is going back to school to enable her to reach a bit higher, profession-wise, is ALSO egging me on.
But you know what? I'm feeling like there's a universal energy out there - "You can do it" vibes. Or maybe I'm just channeling the Little Engine that Could, but I'm feeling confident and motivated and maybe, just maybe, this one will be the charm.
And it's easy to wrap, too!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
- Douglas Adams
OK, so I got out of the dumps that September 11th engendered. Then I got past my local chapter's awards event that sucked some more life out of me (rather the way the Dementor's sucked the joy out of the folks at Hogwarts?). The contest I am chairing is creeping along .... we may have enough entries to run it. The election committee I am chairing for said chapter (by default as the only one not running) is set for candidates (for now).
I was just getting ready to get back into the swing of my personal things. You know, writing, and stuff. I had gotten all revved up to get back to my World War II series and started researching, bought books, came up with a title and was chatting about it on my Yahoo group for the September challenge when Mom gets into the act.
My Mother - who nudges me constantly about never finishing my writing projects (OKAY SO SHE'S RIGHT! LET'S MOVE ON!) decided on what she wanted for Christmas. A finished book. She figures it's easy if I write "what I know" (i.e., being a legal secretary in an entertainment law firm). So since I'm poor, I never know what to buy her ANYWAY, and since it will keep her off my broken down back, I'm plugging away at this book. Fortunately, an idea came to me and the kernal of plot has blossomed into something else. I'm saying the concept is "Working Girl meets Charmed". Because, knowing me - well, you don't, but you're probably getting an idea, right? - it must have some paranormal in it! So enter my female protagonist - a WASP "White, Anglo-Saxon Pagan".
And we're off and running.
And if the pressure from Mom weren't enough, another gal, at my day job, who is going back to school to enable her to reach a bit higher, profession-wise, is ALSO egging me on.
But you know what? I'm feeling like there's a universal energy out there - "You can do it" vibes. Or maybe I'm just channeling the Little Engine that Could, but I'm feeling confident and motivated and maybe, just maybe, this one will be the charm.
And it's easy to wrap, too!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
- Douglas Adams
Sunday, September 13, 2009
September 13, 2009
September 11 always bums me out, but this year, for some reason, more than usual. I'm not sure why.
I'm feeling restless and glum and as though my desire to write and be published as a romance author is a bit trivial. I know it isn't! I know that entertainment and books, reading, stories, and ideas are all wonderful things.
Just a momentary thing, I hope.
I'm repeating - like a desperate mantra - "only three more months; only three more months" until my Board duties can be abandoned and I can move on. Naturally I succumed to my pathological volunteerism and am now the non-running Board member sitting on the chapter election committee.
I hope that there are people who want to contribute - I really do. We'll see. Even though it will mean more work for me, I'd like to see a competition and see that there are people who think that donating some of their time and expertise is worthwhile for our chapter.
Tomorrow's Monday. I've had a sinus headache for a week and have written little, but have researched a lot. I'm trying to focus, take vitamins (lots of C) and get "back in the saddle" again so I can write.
Got my rewfund for the NJ conference which I am NOT attending because I don't have anything to pitch but also because there weren't sufficiently interesting editors attending. That may have changed, but now I'm focusing on a pair of vacation weeks during October when I can really hunker down.
O woe is me. Yeah, I know. Blah blah blah. I'll get over it. A good night's sleep and I'll be back in fighting shape.
Write happy (she says)!
I'm feeling restless and glum and as though my desire to write and be published as a romance author is a bit trivial. I know it isn't! I know that entertainment and books, reading, stories, and ideas are all wonderful things.
Just a momentary thing, I hope.
I'm repeating - like a desperate mantra - "only three more months; only three more months" until my Board duties can be abandoned and I can move on. Naturally I succumed to my pathological volunteerism and am now the non-running Board member sitting on the chapter election committee.
I hope that there are people who want to contribute - I really do. We'll see. Even though it will mean more work for me, I'd like to see a competition and see that there are people who think that donating some of their time and expertise is worthwhile for our chapter.
Tomorrow's Monday. I've had a sinus headache for a week and have written little, but have researched a lot. I'm trying to focus, take vitamins (lots of C) and get "back in the saddle" again so I can write.
Got my rewfund for the NJ conference which I am NOT attending because I don't have anything to pitch but also because there weren't sufficiently interesting editors attending. That may have changed, but now I'm focusing on a pair of vacation weeks during October when I can really hunker down.
O woe is me. Yeah, I know. Blah blah blah. I'll get over it. A good night's sleep and I'll be back in fighting shape.
Write happy (she says)!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
September 9, 2009
Well I've been working like a demon to get back to my OWN projects and find the time to focus on ME. I think that time has arrived!
I committed to blogging for Hearts' Seduced blog. Check. Then to the NYC blog. Check. I got the Stilleto entries done & sent. The HH contest sank. The L&L contest is on track (final judge, luring 1st round judges, 2 announcements out, the 3rd to go today). Though with only 2 entries and 3 weeks to go - well, I don't know.
Having witnessed so many chapter members' success in recent days I have redoubled my efforts to step out of the "supportive" spotlight and into a nice, dark corner where I can scribble away.
Tons of ideas, so I've picked one to focus on (enough of the timetables, lists, and other detritus of my life - I'm plowing through one project until it is done. Otherwise I'll get nowhere.
I canceled my attendance at the NJ conference (and received my refund which will be a big plus in this tough, tough month). I have no obstacles before me - except for the GAA event which is next week and then, mercifully, over. The october 1 deadline for the contest is the only thing looming and then distribution and then finis (more or less).
For now, I'm happy that the creative juices' faucet is running again. My Great Books Project is up and running. My WWII yahoo group is up (though jogging would be a more appropriate term, I think, than "running"). And I'm slowly stepping back from the weight of responsibility.
Good for me!
Anyway, I'm working on a project that's intriguied me for years. Going with what I "love" for now.
I committed to blogging for Hearts' Seduced blog. Check. Then to the NYC blog. Check. I got the Stilleto entries done & sent. The HH contest sank. The L&L contest is on track (final judge, luring 1st round judges, 2 announcements out, the 3rd to go today). Though with only 2 entries and 3 weeks to go - well, I don't know.
Having witnessed so many chapter members' success in recent days I have redoubled my efforts to step out of the "supportive" spotlight and into a nice, dark corner where I can scribble away.
Tons of ideas, so I've picked one to focus on (enough of the timetables, lists, and other detritus of my life - I'm plowing through one project until it is done. Otherwise I'll get nowhere.
I canceled my attendance at the NJ conference (and received my refund which will be a big plus in this tough, tough month). I have no obstacles before me - except for the GAA event which is next week and then, mercifully, over. The october 1 deadline for the contest is the only thing looming and then distribution and then finis (more or less).
For now, I'm happy that the creative juices' faucet is running again. My Great Books Project is up and running. My WWII yahoo group is up (though jogging would be a more appropriate term, I think, than "running"). And I'm slowly stepping back from the weight of responsibility.
Good for me!
Anyway, I'm working on a project that's intriguied me for years. Going with what I "love" for now.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
August 16, 2009
Sultry summer has arrived, at least for the short-term. It makes everything harder - including writing - for me. Besides yard work, house work, and work-work, I'm just drained by the commute, by sweating 24/7 and by forecasts that predict this current mini-wave will last through Wednesday. BUT, I'm in front of the fan today, and while I do have significant yard work (imagine cleaning up Jurassic park - that's about the size of my task) I'll have to break it into little bite-sized pieces in order not to collapse of heat stroke. Instead, I'm going to take blocks of time today and relax in front of the fan and work on my current piece. Or should I say pieces? My biggest problem - stick-to-it-ive-ness. Or, as my Grandmother often accused: "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach."
So what have I got on tap? My novella, The Diary of Desiree Lee, for the Gothic Red Rose novella project. I haven't made any progress to speak of on the Vampire erotic novella anthology, though I don't think I'm alone there....But I have my current, personal, full-lenght project, "Extreme" (working title) underway and I am very excited by it. With luck that means I'll be able to focus on it and not let my mind wander.
My original plans were to have this ready for the New Jersey conference, but at this rate, I won't have it done, AND since NJ's roster of editors attending was JUST posted (2 months after registration began) and there are only THREE editors attending - from Lachesis (Canadian small press), Crescent Moon (e-pub of fantasy/paranormal only) and Samhain - to whom I can submit without an agent anyway, it doesn't motivate me very much. So I'll have to find my own motivation.
What my "long term personal forecast" is: December 31, 2009 - the date on which I retake my life and my energies and can focus on my projects, branding, and everything else that goes along with being a successful writer. Instead of a successful volunteer.
So what have I got on tap? My novella, The Diary of Desiree Lee, for the Gothic Red Rose novella project. I haven't made any progress to speak of on the Vampire erotic novella anthology, though I don't think I'm alone there....But I have my current, personal, full-lenght project, "Extreme" (working title) underway and I am very excited by it. With luck that means I'll be able to focus on it and not let my mind wander.
My original plans were to have this ready for the New Jersey conference, but at this rate, I won't have it done, AND since NJ's roster of editors attending was JUST posted (2 months after registration began) and there are only THREE editors attending - from Lachesis (Canadian small press), Crescent Moon (e-pub of fantasy/paranormal only) and Samhain - to whom I can submit without an agent anyway, it doesn't motivate me very much. So I'll have to find my own motivation.
What my "long term personal forecast" is: December 31, 2009 - the date on which I retake my life and my energies and can focus on my projects, branding, and everything else that goes along with being a successful writer. Instead of a successful volunteer.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
July 22, 2009
Holy crap, I actually did it! I got some writing done last night - several pages, in fact. I was feeling inspired on the way home and I'd forgotten to print out the 3rd paranormal chicklit entry that I agreed to judge (vollunteered several times in fact, what's WRONG WITH ME!). But I did get a great amount of work done and am pleased with the choice I made for the prologue (it was one of two ways and I picked the one that I do believe is the stronger choice, though, of course, we'll see).
I got a bit stuck on the intro of Grace, though, and that took a bit of extra time and then when I got home I fell back into that deep rut....watching TV w/ my dinner.
Went to bed timely, though and slept well and so I am thankfully feeling a bit more rested and less gloomy than Monday morning, for example when I really was down in the dumps.
I wish at timees like this that I did have a serious writing friend to talk with. One who desires to keep writing, and is excited by the prospect rather than daunted and depressed. It makes for a sort of loneliness that, while not debilitating, is more wistful?
Ready to greet my day and continue to fight the good fight. Get the responsibilities out of the way and then, LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE I COME! I've already got a great game plan in place.
You just watch me!
I got a bit stuck on the intro of Grace, though, and that took a bit of extra time and then when I got home I fell back into that deep rut....watching TV w/ my dinner.
Went to bed timely, though and slept well and so I am thankfully feeling a bit more rested and less gloomy than Monday morning, for example when I really was down in the dumps.
I wish at timees like this that I did have a serious writing friend to talk with. One who desires to keep writing, and is excited by the prospect rather than daunted and depressed. It makes for a sort of loneliness that, while not debilitating, is more wistful?
Ready to greet my day and continue to fight the good fight. Get the responsibilities out of the way and then, LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE I COME! I've already got a great game plan in place.
You just watch me!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Sunday, July 18, 2009
The 2nd half of my weekend is here and I'm feeling a bit worn, down, and overwhelmed. Yesterday's weather was pretty warm (mid-80's). I am always so exhausted on Saturday that I end up just trying to relax and regain some strength following my work week. I didn't sleep all that well last night, so this morning - though I got up at 6:30 - I'm still tired.
Have to get chores done, though. Yard work, esp. but also food store and laundry. Today's to be less warm and very dry so I can anticipate not dropping while doing yard work. But I have a lot to do.
I will have to work in the AMs and PMs to get stuff done unless I always want to have it looming over me on the weekend.
The upshot of all this rambling is that it means less time for my writing that I had hoped today. I'm sitting inside right now, though it is lovely outside, because I am watering (it really needs it). Once it is 10 Am I'll turn to doing laundry, instead. Four or five loads. In between, food store, yard work and then once I've done a few hours of that, THEN I can sit down and start my writing. I've got to enhance my plot outline and do some characterization work on my hero and heroine. I'm very clear on my heroine and her background, and her primary motivation: anger (with a side order of guilt). Hero is less clear, but he is also less conflicted. His motivation is his search for justice.
I wont' be sitting inside at my computer, though, I'll take my notebook and sit outside. I finished Karin Slaughter's latest book yesterday (excellent and gruesome) but while I started the new James Lee Burke Texas-set book, I'm not going to pick it up again today because I fall into the habit of reading too often when I should be writing.
I'm excited about my current project and am looking forward to getting into the process and really feeling the heat!
Have to get chores done, though. Yard work, esp. but also food store and laundry. Today's to be less warm and very dry so I can anticipate not dropping while doing yard work. But I have a lot to do.
I will have to work in the AMs and PMs to get stuff done unless I always want to have it looming over me on the weekend.
The upshot of all this rambling is that it means less time for my writing that I had hoped today. I'm sitting inside right now, though it is lovely outside, because I am watering (it really needs it). Once it is 10 Am I'll turn to doing laundry, instead. Four or five loads. In between, food store, yard work and then once I've done a few hours of that, THEN I can sit down and start my writing. I've got to enhance my plot outline and do some characterization work on my hero and heroine. I'm very clear on my heroine and her background, and her primary motivation: anger (with a side order of guilt). Hero is less clear, but he is also less conflicted. His motivation is his search for justice.
I wont' be sitting inside at my computer, though, I'll take my notebook and sit outside. I finished Karin Slaughter's latest book yesterday (excellent and gruesome) but while I started the new James Lee Burke Texas-set book, I'm not going to pick it up again today because I fall into the habit of reading too often when I should be writing.
I'm excited about my current project and am looking forward to getting into the process and really feeling the heat!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
July 15, 2009
It's Wednesday, HUMP DAY, and it's a bit warmer, a bit more humid, but hey, we've had a purely perfect summer so far and I'm not complaining. As long as it doesn't last long...
I've got 1 chore down (the BDSM article for NYC Keynotes). GothRom got 2 entries now and I have to do the reminder announcements. Not going to bother looking for a 2nd judge since I doubt we'll even get ten entries, much less 20. NYC's chapter presentation - dialogue, well I can do that in my sleep having already covered dialogue in my voice presentation AND my senses presentation (and having thought about it alot as well). GR membership is the big bugaboo right now, then a Bd. meeting. Mr. Texas is getting quieter and quieter - he didn't even respond to my naughty little email last night, even though he knew I was sending it - it should just go away, really. It's silly and not real anymore and a waste of both our time and effort putting on this face. Ah, well.
As for my writing - I wrote just a few lines last night but had a wonderful idea for a brief, taut prologue that will set up the heroine and the adversary quite nicely. And I have the motivation for my heroine: ANGER. Anger at everything, including being left when her father died, abandoned emotionally by her mother and forced to take on the responsibilities, and ultimately anger at her mother's betrayal and her abusive stepfather. And when our story starts anger at her stepsister for refusing to help herself, and anger, lastly, at herself for not succeeding in helping her stepsister. The anger, coupled with the sense of abandonment, loneliness and the fact that all her life she's been forced to be in charge, to be in command, to take care of everything = she's ripe to be cared for, commanded - in short, dominated by our hero. I think I'll make him Francisco - no, Master Cisco just doesn't have agood ring to it.
But I'll get there. I must eschew the Damians, Lucians, etc. that I like so much. Nick? Hmmm.
I've got 1 chore down (the BDSM article for NYC Keynotes). GothRom got 2 entries now and I have to do the reminder announcements. Not going to bother looking for a 2nd judge since I doubt we'll even get ten entries, much less 20. NYC's chapter presentation - dialogue, well I can do that in my sleep having already covered dialogue in my voice presentation AND my senses presentation (and having thought about it alot as well). GR membership is the big bugaboo right now, then a Bd. meeting. Mr. Texas is getting quieter and quieter - he didn't even respond to my naughty little email last night, even though he knew I was sending it - it should just go away, really. It's silly and not real anymore and a waste of both our time and effort putting on this face. Ah, well.
As for my writing - I wrote just a few lines last night but had a wonderful idea for a brief, taut prologue that will set up the heroine and the adversary quite nicely. And I have the motivation for my heroine: ANGER. Anger at everything, including being left when her father died, abandoned emotionally by her mother and forced to take on the responsibilities, and ultimately anger at her mother's betrayal and her abusive stepfather. And when our story starts anger at her stepsister for refusing to help herself, and anger, lastly, at herself for not succeeding in helping her stepsister. The anger, coupled with the sense of abandonment, loneliness and the fact that all her life she's been forced to be in charge, to be in command, to take care of everything = she's ripe to be cared for, commanded - in short, dominated by our hero. I think I'll make him Francisco - no, Master Cisco just doesn't have agood ring to it.
But I'll get there. I must eschew the Damians, Lucians, etc. that I like so much. Nick? Hmmm.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
July 11, 2009
Woo Hoo! It's Saturday. Mild, balmy, breezy and not too hot. A tad more humid than I would like, but there's rain coming later so it will get even more humid then. I am excited by my plans, and the work I've done recently on my new project. I plan on having it complete and ready to pitch at the NJ Put Your Heart In A Book Conference, although there aren't any editors or agents listed yet to get appointments with, so I'm not sure it will prove productive. Besides, if NJ has cut out all the e-pub editors, then there's going to be a real dearth of folks to accomodate all the appointments. It's going to be say, 10 editors instead of 20 or whatever the break down will be. I intend to get an appointment come hell or high water ("first come first served" is the rule, but my request got lost last year and I never got to see the folks I wanted). This year I'm hoping for an Avon Red or Kensington Aphrodesia or NAL or Grand Central pitch editor. Because EXTREME is going to be ready, great and eminently sexxxxxxxy.
I've got a lot of irons in the fire, I know. But I am also looking forward with great relish to the end of December when all of my RWA commitments draw to a close and I can finally get out from under the sense of responsibility for making sure chapter members get their money's worth. Can't do it all, as they say.
Come December I'm going to really wail on my projects, and in the meantime I'm not going to let this bout of cold and exhaustion get me down. I'll need to do some yard and house work, but I'll also get lots of time for myself. And instead of sitting in a chair and reading today, I'll be sitting outside in the breeze and writing!
I've got tons of plans, too, for website, blog, and yahoo groups, as well as newsletters and such.
For now, I've got to deal with my first "guest" on the Writing Love American Style yahoo group. Set some things up, and get it started.
I've got a lot of irons in the fire, I know. But I am also looking forward with great relish to the end of December when all of my RWA commitments draw to a close and I can finally get out from under the sense of responsibility for making sure chapter members get their money's worth. Can't do it all, as they say.
Come December I'm going to really wail on my projects, and in the meantime I'm not going to let this bout of cold and exhaustion get me down. I'll need to do some yard and house work, but I'll also get lots of time for myself. And instead of sitting in a chair and reading today, I'll be sitting outside in the breeze and writing!
I've got tons of plans, too, for website, blog, and yahoo groups, as well as newsletters and such.
For now, I've got to deal with my first "guest" on the Writing Love American Style yahoo group. Set some things up, and get it started.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
June 24, 2009
Am I my own worst enemy? Probably. But I've made a vow to myself to step out of the circle of frustration, anger, futility, impotence, and into the light of unfettered creativity.
For all those people, things, stuff I cannot change - either habits, a situation, problems or issues - I will just admit defeat and move on. No more gnashing of my teeth (when I wake up middle of the night with a tension headache, that is exactly what I've been doing) and trying to push people, pull people, mold situations to my liking. Nope. No more. A pure and utter waste of time because if my assistance and help and expertise and support is not helping, then there's no reason to continue expending myself when I could, instead, be working hard on my own things.
If I suffer from a fear of success - or failure - that is where I should focus my energies and my positive efforts. To push past that and realize that pinnacle of submission to a publisher. Even if it is a short story or novella, rather than a novel (and short erotic and romance fiction sites abound, so there are plenty of folks out there to explore a relationship with, vis a vis, writing.
I'm working hard toward that goal - I was very excited yesterday, although I backslid by end of day (what is it about my day job that just sucks the very creative and energetic marrow from my bones?) but I did, as I promised myself, keep my distance from those situations that most entangle me in thei insidious webs!
But a new day has dawned. True, it is still grey, rain threatens, and worst of all the temps are rising so humidity will be the order of the day (yuck and double yuck), but I'm prepared with a light and sleeveless dress and lots of my favorite refreshing item - Jean Nate.
Does that take you back, or what?
For all those people, things, stuff I cannot change - either habits, a situation, problems or issues - I will just admit defeat and move on. No more gnashing of my teeth (when I wake up middle of the night with a tension headache, that is exactly what I've been doing) and trying to push people, pull people, mold situations to my liking. Nope. No more. A pure and utter waste of time because if my assistance and help and expertise and support is not helping, then there's no reason to continue expending myself when I could, instead, be working hard on my own things.
If I suffer from a fear of success - or failure - that is where I should focus my energies and my positive efforts. To push past that and realize that pinnacle of submission to a publisher. Even if it is a short story or novella, rather than a novel (and short erotic and romance fiction sites abound, so there are plenty of folks out there to explore a relationship with, vis a vis, writing.
I'm working hard toward that goal - I was very excited yesterday, although I backslid by end of day (what is it about my day job that just sucks the very creative and energetic marrow from my bones?) but I did, as I promised myself, keep my distance from those situations that most entangle me in thei insidious webs!
But a new day has dawned. True, it is still grey, rain threatens, and worst of all the temps are rising so humidity will be the order of the day (yuck and double yuck), but I'm prepared with a light and sleeveless dress and lots of my favorite refreshing item - Jean Nate.
Does that take you back, or what?
Friday, June 19, 2009
June 19, 2009 Addendum
I've decided on my pseudonym name for writing erotica and romantica:
LYDIA HILL.
LYDIA HILL.
June 19, 2009 - Grey and cool and filled with promise
OK, so like WOW, let me just rave on about some recent flash fiction I read on my Yahoo Loop, Let Me Get You Hot and Bothered. I put out FFFF - freaky Friday flash fiction (because we are all freaky erotica and erotic romance authors there). The prompts can be wild, wicked, wanton (oops, that's another blog of mine!) or poetic, dark or dangerous. Yesterday's was a DP, double prompt (tee hee) provided by 2 of my members and folks have been outdoing themselves, ME INCLUDED! There must have been something in the water, or perhaps it is simply that my creative juices have been flowing like mad, lately - so much so that I might need some literary depends. I've been filled with ideas for my current erotic novella WIP (the one that is definitely going out for submission by the end of this month - I have promised myself and I will not fail me - I've done that far too much lately). Between that and reading some other folks' work, well, I seem to be a veritable fiction Vesuvius at the moment.
Despite the grey weather that has been, it seems, unending (there may have been a sunny day somewhere - maybe back in the Pleistocene.), I have not felt the usual depressed morose feeling that I tend to get. Instead it is almost as if my absorption with my writing has insulated me from feeling it. I look up from the page - or the screen - and find myself surprised at where I am, in my mundane world, because I've been that drawn into my fictional worlds.
One of the prompts was the title of my favorite Tennessee Williams play, Talk To Me Like The Rain and Let Me Listen. I'd mentioned it in passing during a discussion on the art of writing dialogue - to use plays as a sort of education on the value of dialogue and how to use it to move plots forward and expose characters.
When my gal Jae said use it as a prompt, I did and it unleased (for me and, apparently for her) a whole new erotic and sensual sense of writing that was different by far from my nitty, gritty and sometimes witty erotic bits and pieces.
As a result I am sitting with only ten minutes to go before I have to hit the old salt mine trail and toil away again for another 8 to 10 hour day. But I am basically just excited to get going, so that I can take advantage of those bits of time here and there - on trains and buses - and get more writing done. Inspiration is a wonderful thing, ain't it? Not only that the community of WRITERS is a wonderful thing. For anyone who is tempted to secret themselves away in a world, hiding their words and suspecting other writers of possible attempts at word theft, you are doing yourselves a grave disservice. Because for every person tempted to steal from you, are a huge crowd who want nothing more than to cheer you on and praise your efforts and keep you on the path to creative fulfillment and professional productivity. So, guys and gals, let it all hang out - figuratively speaking.
Despite the grey weather that has been, it seems, unending (there may have been a sunny day somewhere - maybe back in the Pleistocene.), I have not felt the usual depressed morose feeling that I tend to get. Instead it is almost as if my absorption with my writing has insulated me from feeling it. I look up from the page - or the screen - and find myself surprised at where I am, in my mundane world, because I've been that drawn into my fictional worlds.
One of the prompts was the title of my favorite Tennessee Williams play, Talk To Me Like The Rain and Let Me Listen. I'd mentioned it in passing during a discussion on the art of writing dialogue - to use plays as a sort of education on the value of dialogue and how to use it to move plots forward and expose characters.
When my gal Jae said use it as a prompt, I did and it unleased (for me and, apparently for her) a whole new erotic and sensual sense of writing that was different by far from my nitty, gritty and sometimes witty erotic bits and pieces.
As a result I am sitting with only ten minutes to go before I have to hit the old salt mine trail and toil away again for another 8 to 10 hour day. But I am basically just excited to get going, so that I can take advantage of those bits of time here and there - on trains and buses - and get more writing done. Inspiration is a wonderful thing, ain't it? Not only that the community of WRITERS is a wonderful thing. For anyone who is tempted to secret themselves away in a world, hiding their words and suspecting other writers of possible attempts at word theft, you are doing yourselves a grave disservice. Because for every person tempted to steal from you, are a huge crowd who want nothing more than to cheer you on and praise your efforts and keep you on the path to creative fulfillment and professional productivity. So, guys and gals, let it all hang out - figuratively speaking.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
6/3/09
Raining. I'm not writing, either, but, as usual, performing those tangential writerly tasks. Culling articles from newspapers ("ideas"), reading a craft book "Fiction Writers' Brainstormers", checking emails (RWA chapters, writers' loops, etc.).
I was determined to get my erotic short ready for submission on my birthday at mid-month. Not sure I can do that now, but I'll get back to work on it.
It is raining outside so it does permit me the "luxury" of coming inside and getting on my computer, which I always postpone because I cannot bear a single minute of NOT being out of doors when the weather is lovely.
Anyway. That's where I stand. Frustrated, but determined.
What else is new!
(P.S. - I am getting lots of ideas while my brain is not overwhelmed with the nonsense of work. A bit of anxiety off my shoulders because I paid my bills, have my tax refund and can pay a few more without sweating the penny pinching for a minut or two....but lots of ideas, which is always great. NOW to sit down and WRITE!!!)
I was determined to get my erotic short ready for submission on my birthday at mid-month. Not sure I can do that now, but I'll get back to work on it.
It is raining outside so it does permit me the "luxury" of coming inside and getting on my computer, which I always postpone because I cannot bear a single minute of NOT being out of doors when the weather is lovely.
Anyway. That's where I stand. Frustrated, but determined.
What else is new!
(P.S. - I am getting lots of ideas while my brain is not overwhelmed with the nonsense of work. A bit of anxiety off my shoulders because I paid my bills, have my tax refund and can pay a few more without sweating the penny pinching for a minut or two....but lots of ideas, which is always great. NOW to sit down and WRITE!!!)
Monday, June 1, 2009
6/1/09
Inspiration comes from the strangest places. Fortunately for me, I find inspiration just about everywhere. Today's story on the death of the last survivor of the Titanic sinking has my mind racing. I've always loved that era, anyway - as the old world slowly ceded to the new - a world filled with mechanization and World War conflagrations and so many inventions and changes that made the rather sedate, older world, anachronistic almost overnight.
The day is gorgeous (though the weather's supposed to change to more cloudy and more showers) and I'm feeling motivated.
Fortunately for me, I can write outside on a notebook and don't need to feel constrained about having to write on a laptop or computer. Why do people not realize that? I'm always puzzled when someone laments that their computer is getting repaired, or it died and they're waiting to buy a new one - and can't write until they do.
Weird. Take out a pen and a pad, dudes!
Too nice a day - gotta run and put all this motivation to good use. Vampires, here I come!
The day is gorgeous (though the weather's supposed to change to more cloudy and more showers) and I'm feeling motivated.
Fortunately for me, I can write outside on a notebook and don't need to feel constrained about having to write on a laptop or computer. Why do people not realize that? I'm always puzzled when someone laments that their computer is getting repaired, or it died and they're waiting to buy a new one - and can't write until they do.
Weird. Take out a pen and a pad, dudes!
Too nice a day - gotta run and put all this motivation to good use. Vampires, here I come!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
6/1/9 - Getting down to brass tacks
I haven't the foggiest clue what that expression means, but that's my plan for the week as I am now ON VACATION! While I always pray for beautiful weather (not too hot, and at this time of year, with my gardening to do too, certainly not too cold), I am usually thwarted. Sure enough, this morning the latest weather report has added to the 3 days of possible rain this week to make it - 5 DAYS with rain. Today was supposed to be clear until late afternoon, now a possible thunderstorm in the AM. Sheesh.
The upside? More time to write, of course!
So what am I up to? Same old, same old, actually, as has been the case for a bit. I've got my erotic vampire novella up and then my Gothic novella. And in between I am working on an erotic short piece that I hope to submit on my birthday (15 days from now). Beyond that, of course, are my longer projects (as my Grandma always said, my eyes are bigger than my stomach, and it doesn't just mean about food, either!).
Am I the only one who gets so overzealous about projects that not a single one ever reaches fruition? I certainly hope I'm not alone, but then again I wouldn't wish this on others as it is FRUSTRATING!
But I am going for the gusto, the brass ring, the gold, "Just do it!" as Nike says. And by the end of this week I will, by golly, have something to show for it!
The upside? More time to write, of course!
So what am I up to? Same old, same old, actually, as has been the case for a bit. I've got my erotic vampire novella up and then my Gothic novella. And in between I am working on an erotic short piece that I hope to submit on my birthday (15 days from now). Beyond that, of course, are my longer projects (as my Grandma always said, my eyes are bigger than my stomach, and it doesn't just mean about food, either!).
Am I the only one who gets so overzealous about projects that not a single one ever reaches fruition? I certainly hope I'm not alone, but then again I wouldn't wish this on others as it is FRUSTRATING!
But I am going for the gusto, the brass ring, the gold, "Just do it!" as Nike says. And by the end of this week I will, by golly, have something to show for it!
Friday, May 22, 2009
!
TGIF! A gorgeous day and I'm filled with inspiration. Having joined a number of non-RWA Yahoo groups dedicated to erotic romance, historial romance, historical fiction and World War II (mostly research there), I've got lots of creative juices sloshing around. I'm going to try not to let the nastiness as work get me down, and just get through the day so I can head home for the long weekend and relax, write, work out in the garden and generally chill.
My writing has suffered the last few months from frustration/depression/anxiety issues as well as from (gosh, what a surprise!) taking on too many volunteer responsibilities. The end of the road is in sight on that one, though, and I've SOOOOOO learned my lesson not to try to impress or garner friends by pitching in to do as much work as is humanly (or not) possible. It hasn't gotten me anywhere except into Aggravation Land and so I'll consider my 2 years of service for RWA groups, and 3 for NYC good enough.
Now it is off to the coal mines to toil for the day. Cool breezes and sun outside - ah, well. I guess I'd be outside if I was a ditch-digger, wouldn't I?
Happy Memorial Day.
Remember the brave men and women, soldiers, nurses, doctors, photographers, journalists, fliers, who have given their lives for our country and for others.
My writing has suffered the last few months from frustration/depression/anxiety issues as well as from (gosh, what a surprise!) taking on too many volunteer responsibilities. The end of the road is in sight on that one, though, and I've SOOOOOO learned my lesson not to try to impress or garner friends by pitching in to do as much work as is humanly (or not) possible. It hasn't gotten me anywhere except into Aggravation Land and so I'll consider my 2 years of service for RWA groups, and 3 for NYC good enough.
Now it is off to the coal mines to toil for the day. Cool breezes and sun outside - ah, well. I guess I'd be outside if I was a ditch-digger, wouldn't I?
Happy Memorial Day.
Remember the brave men and women, soldiers, nurses, doctors, photographers, journalists, fliers, who have given their lives for our country and for others.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
5/3/09
"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." Woody Allen.
OK, so the Wood-ster tends to annoy me with his bizarre Soon-yi think (way to close to pedophilia for me, but hey, whatever floats your boat, dude - she was, after all legal age).
Whoops, here I am waxing all serious, when what I meant to say was, despite his shortcomings, you have to agree the Wood-ster is hugely amusing.
I was prompted to use this quote because I spent yesterday afternoon laughing. And it could not have been more timely, because I'd spent the day before in a rage. So all was made better by a terrifically funny Patt Mihailoff presentation about life, love, friends, foster care and writing books - romance, horror, historical, confession. She is a great entertainer and as generous with her enthusiasm as she is with her hugs and her support.
So, despite the face that the weathermen were wrong (gasp! could it be so???) and it is raining today - that sort of drizzling, spitting type of weather that means you can't sit outside or work, but it isn't terribly beneficial to anything else, either.
But what I just realized it DID mean is that I don't HAVE to go work outside, clean, rake, plant, etc. I can relax and enjoy the 1 day I do have to myself since yesterday's RWA/NYC chapter brunch, subsequent board meeting and a brief dinner/drinks gathering whereat we watched the Kentucky Derby, and I didn't get home until 9.
So today I have the chance to catch up on my blogging (I've been SO REMISS), as well as get some organizing done, cleaning, and put together a stellar list of questions for my interview of Lauren Willig.
PLUS write a chapter blog on alternative ways to write even if you haven't sold a book. Short Fiction!
But I also have to get involved in my potential, intended Blaze novel, and continue my writing and plotting. I have the overview done and know where I'm going to start and where I'm going to end and how, generally, I intend to get there, but not all the little stops and details along the way.
So I have a day to chill and indulge myself in my writing.
Hoo-rah!
OK, so the Wood-ster tends to annoy me with his bizarre Soon-yi think (way to close to pedophilia for me, but hey, whatever floats your boat, dude - she was, after all legal age).
Whoops, here I am waxing all serious, when what I meant to say was, despite his shortcomings, you have to agree the Wood-ster is hugely amusing.
I was prompted to use this quote because I spent yesterday afternoon laughing. And it could not have been more timely, because I'd spent the day before in a rage. So all was made better by a terrifically funny Patt Mihailoff presentation about life, love, friends, foster care and writing books - romance, horror, historical, confession. She is a great entertainer and as generous with her enthusiasm as she is with her hugs and her support.
So, despite the face that the weathermen were wrong (gasp! could it be so???) and it is raining today - that sort of drizzling, spitting type of weather that means you can't sit outside or work, but it isn't terribly beneficial to anything else, either.
But what I just realized it DID mean is that I don't HAVE to go work outside, clean, rake, plant, etc. I can relax and enjoy the 1 day I do have to myself since yesterday's RWA/NYC chapter brunch, subsequent board meeting and a brief dinner/drinks gathering whereat we watched the Kentucky Derby, and I didn't get home until 9.
So today I have the chance to catch up on my blogging (I've been SO REMISS), as well as get some organizing done, cleaning, and put together a stellar list of questions for my interview of Lauren Willig.
PLUS write a chapter blog on alternative ways to write even if you haven't sold a book. Short Fiction!
But I also have to get involved in my potential, intended Blaze novel, and continue my writing and plotting. I have the overview done and know where I'm going to start and where I'm going to end and how, generally, I intend to get there, but not all the little stops and details along the way.
So I have a day to chill and indulge myself in my writing.
Hoo-rah!
Monday, April 27, 2009
4/27/09
"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese." Billie Burke
That about sums it up. What's up with me today? My blood pressure, mostly. But despite getting nothing done, I'm throwing in the towel. Going home to sit outside on a beautiful evening and relax.
As another great lady say, "I'll think about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!"
That about sums it up. What's up with me today? My blood pressure, mostly. But despite getting nothing done, I'm throwing in the towel. Going home to sit outside on a beautiful evening and relax.
As another great lady say, "I'll think about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!"
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
4/15/09
Tax day. Yech. That will be one of my first acts this morning (8:47 am) - to get my taxes done, copy them at staples and then drop them at the post office. It is a pain in the ass but it only will take me about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes to do them.
I just watched the video of Susan Boyle, the 47 year old Scottish woman who walked onto the stage of X Factor (British American Ido) and knocked everyone on their asses by singing a most amazing version of I Dreamed A Dream. She was dowdy, unattractive (but cheeky!) and audience members and judges alike were sneering.
Until she opened her mouth and the first notes came out and Simon Cowell looked like he'd been kicked in the nuts.
She wowed them, changed their minds and had them on their feet and cheering. What an amazing scene.
But more important - Susan Boyle had to know she wasn't a beauty, wasn't a slender young hip thing, and yet she marched out there with all the courage you could possibly imagine.
And I'm going to let THAT be a lesson to ME, too.
Stop wasting time. Stop wondering what if, stop letting excuses rule my life and kill MY dream.
I Dreamed a Dream, too. And I am the only one who can make it come true.
So there.
Off to work on my dream now (after I do my taxes).
I just watched the video of Susan Boyle, the 47 year old Scottish woman who walked onto the stage of X Factor (British American Ido) and knocked everyone on their asses by singing a most amazing version of I Dreamed A Dream. She was dowdy, unattractive (but cheeky!) and audience members and judges alike were sneering.
Until she opened her mouth and the first notes came out and Simon Cowell looked like he'd been kicked in the nuts.
She wowed them, changed their minds and had them on their feet and cheering. What an amazing scene.
But more important - Susan Boyle had to know she wasn't a beauty, wasn't a slender young hip thing, and yet she marched out there with all the courage you could possibly imagine.
And I'm going to let THAT be a lesson to ME, too.
Stop wasting time. Stop wondering what if, stop letting excuses rule my life and kill MY dream.
I Dreamed a Dream, too. And I am the only one who can make it come true.
So there.
Off to work on my dream now (after I do my taxes).
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
4/14/09
It's raining, chilly, they are cutting down a tree on the corner (I HATE seeing people cut down all their trees!) and I worked for a couple of hours in the garden but had to quit when it started to rain. Mercifully, you would think, so I could sit and write. Why, then am I having trouble getting down to it? I have that creative feeling after all - after yard work my Mother said she wanted to go to Pearl's Art Supply (she'd never been and envisioned it as a Michael's sort of craft store). I told her it was really an ART SUPPLY store, but away we went. Naturally I found things to buy - in particular 2 books, one on drawing fantastical creatures and one on pen and watercolor wash paintings. When I expect to indulge this artistic side of me I'll never know. I reviewed my emails and found a few new people on whose blogs I commented and I checked in with Twitter and have tried to add some folk but down't have the right names, so...
OK, so I figured how to add a couple more folks to my "followed" list. Having checked out one particular blog, however, I now have my work cut out for me as far as organization and getting shit up on my own blogs. Not to mention blogging, period.
Duh.
You know what? It's grey, raining, and the tree killers have gone away. And it is 3;30 and I'm on vacation this week so screw it, I'm gonna take a nap!
I'll be fresh and filled with wonderful ideas for my intended Blaze category novel that I'm plotting for my RWA/NYC chapter's BIAM challenge. It's been watered down to be a mini-challenge, but I'm going full bore myself. Now, to snuggle down...
OK, so I figured how to add a couple more folks to my "followed" list. Having checked out one particular blog, however, I now have my work cut out for me as far as organization and getting shit up on my own blogs. Not to mention blogging, period.
Duh.
You know what? It's grey, raining, and the tree killers have gone away. And it is 3;30 and I'm on vacation this week so screw it, I'm gonna take a nap!
I'll be fresh and filled with wonderful ideas for my intended Blaze category novel that I'm plotting for my RWA/NYC chapter's BIAM challenge. It's been watered down to be a mini-challenge, but I'm going full bore myself. Now, to snuggle down...
Saturday, April 11, 2009
04/11/09
Not to piss and moan (though "WISPing" - wallowing in self pity - is one of my best things), but I don't get a lot of support in my writing life. Mom just continues to lambast me for not finishing stuff (which is the biggest of the sticks with which I beat myself mercilessly, so I don't really need her to do it too). The people I know in my day job are clueless, with one exception - a funky gal who fits in with the rest of the mundanes about as well as I do, which is to say, they smile and say hello, but always look at me with that expression of puzzlement that says they just don't get me - and don't ever ask or talk about my writing (nor do they prod me). Another acquaintance took to blasting me, with great anger, whenever the subject of my not writing in sufficient quantity came up. I needed that like a hole in the head and have, essentially, ceased placing myself in the position of having to get yelled at. When I want the yelling fix (right), I can get it at the office. Or at home. Or on the LIRR or the subway, the buses or, hell, right on the street.
SO. I haven't got people cheering me on. Certainly no one particularly complimentary about my abilities. Except for one. One individual who is a talented, multi-genre, multi-published author who, from the very first time this person glimpsed my writing, has never stopped reminded me that my writing is good, better than good, and that I need to get on with it. Get it out there. The nudges are gentle and sprinkled with warmth, humor and support. Not just criticism. And it makes all the difference in the world.
The person in question has been a champion of me in other ways, too, and it is nice to know that there is at least one person in the world who thinks well of me.
So despite the dreary, chill start to my vacation (though hallelujah, the week's 4 days of rain forecast has changed, though the temps will be colder ... at least it will be sunny!), I've got lovely words of enthusiastic support to make my day a bit brighter and warmer and, hell, they got the old creative juices flowing.
Now THAT'S the kind of friends everyone needs at least one of
.
So, thank you, my friend.
SO. I haven't got people cheering me on. Certainly no one particularly complimentary about my abilities. Except for one. One individual who is a talented, multi-genre, multi-published author who, from the very first time this person glimpsed my writing, has never stopped reminded me that my writing is good, better than good, and that I need to get on with it. Get it out there. The nudges are gentle and sprinkled with warmth, humor and support. Not just criticism. And it makes all the difference in the world.
The person in question has been a champion of me in other ways, too, and it is nice to know that there is at least one person in the world who thinks well of me.
So despite the dreary, chill start to my vacation (though hallelujah, the week's 4 days of rain forecast has changed, though the temps will be colder ... at least it will be sunny!), I've got lovely words of enthusiastic support to make my day a bit brighter and warmer and, hell, they got the old creative juices flowing.
Now THAT'S the kind of friends everyone needs at least one of
.
So, thank you, my friend.
Friday, April 10, 2009
04/10/09
I'm on VACATION! Officially at 5:30 I went on vacation (though I'm still at the office). Now, this may sound mundane, but for the 17 years I've worked here I've routinely spent hours after 5:30 cleaning up, getting all the last minute stuff that everyone felt they HAD to give me before I left, and making sure that my station was bee-u-tiful before I left.
But I'm DONE. Spotless, neat, organized, hip-hip-hooray!
A few minutes spent admiring my cubicle and I was a bit late for one train but will take the next, which is actually nicer anyway (more seats).
And since it is Good Friday everyone is gone gone gone from the office, it is silent except for my CD of The Drifters playing (ah, boy, does it take me back!) and I'm ready to pack up and head out.
The upcoming week - as is typical with me for April - will be spent gardening and preparing for my spring and summer gardens (flowers, perennials, herbs, vegetables and so forth). While I won't have unlimited time for writing, what this outdoor work does do is get the tension out. Works my muscles, keeps me out of doors with sun (PLEASE, PLEASE LET THERE BE SUN!) and fresh air and it all serves to clear out the wintery cobwebs of my mind, and set my creative juices flowing - just like the sap of the trees!
The blossoms on my Bradford Pear tree are set to spring open, just like the wealth of ideas and mental energy that will be freed when I head out the door, which is,
NOW!
But I'm DONE. Spotless, neat, organized, hip-hip-hooray!
A few minutes spent admiring my cubicle and I was a bit late for one train but will take the next, which is actually nicer anyway (more seats).
And since it is Good Friday everyone is gone gone gone from the office, it is silent except for my CD of The Drifters playing (ah, boy, does it take me back!) and I'm ready to pack up and head out.
The upcoming week - as is typical with me for April - will be spent gardening and preparing for my spring and summer gardens (flowers, perennials, herbs, vegetables and so forth). While I won't have unlimited time for writing, what this outdoor work does do is get the tension out. Works my muscles, keeps me out of doors with sun (PLEASE, PLEASE LET THERE BE SUN!) and fresh air and it all serves to clear out the wintery cobwebs of my mind, and set my creative juices flowing - just like the sap of the trees!
The blossoms on my Bradford Pear tree are set to spring open, just like the wealth of ideas and mental energy that will be freed when I head out the door, which is,
NOW!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
4/08/09
I've been rushing about like a mad creature today. Adding followers to Twitter (let me ask this ... if we are "twittering", and the posts are "tweets", why are those of us who Twitter not called Twits?). Anyway. Facebook, Twitter, Blogger and then there is Linked In, AuthorDen, Classmates.com and numerous other social links and marketing links and Yahoo groups. It's enough to make this middle-aged gal's head swim.
Weather's cold. I didn't write anything today but I did plot a good section. Had great lines coming to me while waking up this AM, but wouldn't you know it, they all disappeared once I came to.
Ah, well. Tomorrow is (as Scarlett always said), another day.
Rock On! Write Happy!
Weather's cold. I didn't write anything today but I did plot a good section. Had great lines coming to me while waking up this AM, but wouldn't you know it, they all disappeared once I came to.
Ah, well. Tomorrow is (as Scarlett always said), another day.
Rock On! Write Happy!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
March 31, 2009
I have got to get a grip. I make plans (lists, lists, I love lists) and then they burst like so many soap bubbles that kids blow from those little bottles of goo.
I've got the energy and the time. I need to prioritize and stop letting the bull-sh_t of life so blind me to the opportunities I have.
GRRR! Get with the program! (I said to me.)
I've got the energy and the time. I need to prioritize and stop letting the bull-sh_t of life so blind me to the opportunities I have.
GRRR! Get with the program! (I said to me.)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
March 25, 2009. Energetic (sort of).
I woke up this morning feeling a bit recharged. I'd read my own cards and was reassured that I was making good choices. I've been drained by demands on me and unpleasant twists of fate, but after a long stretch of bullshit have managed to claw my way back to the surface.
I have a game plan (what else is new, said the list-writing fool). I have tried to focus on what I am most enamored of - really, hot, sexy romance, from sexy sexy to erotica - and calculate what I can do to evolve.
Branding, of course, comes to mind, as does focusing on the actual writing of stuff (always something I forget!!?!?!).
I got yelled at a bunch of times today by the boss man (no matter how hard I try I get the big rasberry). Mom was, well, as has been the case the last couple of weeks, a bit in the bag. That's depressing, of course, and I feel anxious trying to focus on what she might be missing, overlooking, etc.
OK, so on from there I have LOTS of ideas (as per usual) and hope that my skills won't desert me even if the fates are spitting in my eye.
Now, though, it's time for beddy by. (How do you spell that?)
I've got a couple more days of slogging through the day job but I'm going to be signing off now only to write!
Yeah, like for ten minutes.
Oy.
I have a game plan (what else is new, said the list-writing fool). I have tried to focus on what I am most enamored of - really, hot, sexy romance, from sexy sexy to erotica - and calculate what I can do to evolve.
Branding, of course, comes to mind, as does focusing on the actual writing of stuff (always something I forget!!?!?!).
I got yelled at a bunch of times today by the boss man (no matter how hard I try I get the big rasberry). Mom was, well, as has been the case the last couple of weeks, a bit in the bag. That's depressing, of course, and I feel anxious trying to focus on what she might be missing, overlooking, etc.
OK, so on from there I have LOTS of ideas (as per usual) and hope that my skills won't desert me even if the fates are spitting in my eye.
Now, though, it's time for beddy by. (How do you spell that?)
I've got a couple more days of slogging through the day job but I'm going to be signing off now only to write!
Yeah, like for ten minutes.
Oy.
Welcome to my mad, mad, mad, mad world!
Want to see inside the mind - and experience the world - of an easily-distracted, list-obsessed, pre-published, fiendishly blogging, Bud Lite drinking, bibliomaniacal, snarky, fierce, overly-sensitive, loud, compulsive singing, legal secretary, LIRR commuter, Long Island-living, greyhound adopting, gardening, writer of romance, women's fiction, paranormal, erotica, historical fiction?
This is the place!'
I'm Lise and I'm a writer.
Be afraid.
Be VERY AFRAID.
This is the place!'
I'm Lise and I'm a writer.
Be afraid.
Be VERY AFRAID.
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