4/27/09

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese." Billie Burke

That about sums it up. What's up with me today? My blood pressure, mostly. But despite getting nothing done, I'm throwing in the towel. Going home to sit outside on a beautiful evening and relax.

As another great lady say, "I'll think about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!"

4/15/09

Tax day. Yech. That will be one of my first acts this morning (8:47 am) - to get my taxes done, copy them at staples and then drop them at the post office. It is a pain in the ass but it only will take me about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes to do them.

I just watched the video of Susan Boyle, the 47 year old Scottish woman who walked onto the stage of X Factor (British American Ido) and knocked everyone on their asses by singing a most amazing version of I Dreamed A Dream. She was dowdy, unattractive (but cheeky!) and audience members and judges alike were sneering.

Until she opened her mouth and the first notes came out and Simon Cowell looked like he'd been kicked in the nuts.

She wowed them, changed their minds and had them on their feet and cheering. What an amazing scene.

But more important - Susan Boyle had to know she wasn't a beauty, wasn't a slender young hip thing, and yet she marched out there with all the courage you could possibly imagine.

And I'm going to let THAT be a lesson to ME, too.

Stop wasting time. Stop wondering what if, stop letting excuses rule my life and kill MY dream.

I Dreamed a Dream, too. And I am the only one who can make it come true.

So there.

Off to work on my dream now (after I do my taxes).

4/14/09

It's raining, chilly, they are cutting down a tree on the corner (I HATE seeing people cut down all their trees!) and I worked for a couple of hours in the garden but had to quit when it started to rain. Mercifully, you would think, so I could sit and write. Why, then am I having trouble getting down to it? I have that creative feeling after all - after yard work my Mother said she wanted to go to Pearl's Art Supply (she'd never been and envisioned it as a Michael's sort of craft store). I told her it was really an ART SUPPLY store, but away we went. Naturally I found things to buy - in particular 2 books, one on drawing fantastical creatures and one on pen and watercolor wash paintings. When I expect to indulge this artistic side of me I'll never know. I reviewed my emails and found a few new people on whose blogs I commented and I checked in with Twitter and have tried to add some folk but down't have the right names, so...

OK, so I figured how to add a couple more folks to my "followed" list. Having checked out one particular blog, however, I now have my work cut out for me as far as organization and getting shit up on my own blogs. Not to mention blogging, period.

Duh.

You know what? It's grey, raining, and the tree killers have gone away. And it is 3;30 and I'm on vacation this week so screw it, I'm gonna take a nap!

I'll be fresh and filled with wonderful ideas for my intended Blaze category novel that I'm plotting for my RWA/NYC chapter's BIAM challenge. It's been watered down to be a mini-challenge, but I'm going full bore myself. Now, to snuggle down...

04/11/09

Not to piss and moan (though "WISPing" - wallowing in self pity - is one of my best things), but I don't get a lot of support in my writing life. Mom just continues to lambast me for not finishing stuff (which is the biggest of the sticks with which I beat myself mercilessly, so I don't really need her to do it too). The people I know in my day job are clueless, with one exception - a funky gal who fits in with the rest of the mundanes about as well as I do, which is to say, they smile and say hello, but always look at me with that expression of puzzlement that says they just don't get me - and don't ever ask or talk about my writing (nor do they prod me). Another acquaintance took to blasting me, with great anger, whenever the subject of my not writing in sufficient quantity came up. I needed that like a hole in the head and have, essentially, ceased placing myself in the position of having to get yelled at. When I want the yelling fix (right), I can get it at the office. Or at home. Or on the LIRR or the subway, the buses or, hell, right on the street.

SO. I haven't got people cheering me on. Certainly no one particularly complimentary about my abilities. Except for one. One individual who is a talented, multi-genre, multi-published author who, from the very first time this person glimpsed my writing, has never stopped reminded me that my writing is good, better than good, and that I need to get on with it. Get it out there. The nudges are gentle and sprinkled with warmth, humor and support. Not just criticism. And it makes all the difference in the world.

The person in question has been a champion of me in other ways, too, and it is nice to know that there is at least one person in the world who thinks well of me.

So despite the dreary, chill start to my vacation (though hallelujah, the week's 4 days of rain forecast has changed, though the temps will be colder ... at least it will be sunny!), I've got lovely words of enthusiastic support to make my day a bit brighter and warmer and, hell, they got the old creative juices flowing.

Now THAT'S the kind of friends everyone needs at least one of
.
So, thank you, my friend.

04/10/09

I'm on VACATION! Officially at 5:30 I went on vacation (though I'm still at the office). Now, this may sound mundane, but for the 17 years I've worked here I've routinely spent hours after 5:30 cleaning up, getting all the last minute stuff that everyone felt they HAD to give me before I left, and making sure that my station was bee-u-tiful before I left.

But I'm DONE. Spotless, neat, organized, hip-hip-hooray!

A few minutes spent admiring my cubicle and I was a bit late for one train but will take the next, which is actually nicer anyway (more seats).

And since it is Good Friday everyone is gone gone gone from the office, it is silent except for my CD of The Drifters playing (ah, boy, does it take me back!) and I'm ready to pack up and head out.

The upcoming week - as is typical with me for April - will be spent gardening and preparing for my spring and summer gardens (flowers, perennials, herbs, vegetables and so forth). While I won't have unlimited time for writing, what this outdoor work does do is get the tension out. Works my muscles, keeps me out of doors with sun (PLEASE, PLEASE LET THERE BE SUN!) and fresh air and it all serves to clear out the wintery cobwebs of my mind, and set my creative juices flowing - just like the sap of the trees!

The blossoms on my Bradford Pear tree are set to spring open, just like the wealth of ideas and mental energy that will be freed when I head out the door, which is,

NOW!

4/08/09

I've been rushing about like a mad creature today. Adding followers to Twitter (let me ask this ... if we are "twittering", and the posts are "tweets", why are those of us who Twitter not called Twits?). Anyway. Facebook, Twitter, Blogger and then there is Linked In, AuthorDen, Classmates.com and numerous other social links and marketing links and Yahoo groups. It's enough to make this middle-aged gal's head swim.

Weather's cold. I didn't write anything today but I did plot a good section. Had great lines coming to me while waking up this AM, but wouldn't you know it, they all disappeared once I came to.

Ah, well. Tomorrow is (as Scarlett always said), another day.

Rock On! Write Happy!