March 24, 2010 - Unofficial "Mad as a Hatter" Day

Ever have one of those days? Mine started yesterday with a neighbor - having just sold his house but stopping by to remove some more junk he collected from the garage - whipped it out and took a whizz behind said garage, in direct line of sight from my bedroom window. How de-lightful! But onward and upward I grabbed my bags with my MS for further editing, my research for the revisions and my guide to writing the perfect synopsis and headed to work. Where nothing went right and I was stuck at my desk all day, including through lunch.

Ah, well, there's always the evening hours, right?

Except I got home and noticed my one dog (Scout, the elder of my two remaining rescued ex-racing greyhounds) was bleeding from her mouth. No doubt a dig from chewing on a Milk-bone or a stick, right? Well, after 45 minutes during which time the bleeding grew steadily worse, I made the decision to take her to the emergency vet. Clutching my credit card I arrived at 8:15. By then she was bleeding fairly hard and she and I were covered in it. Following the examination they sedated her (ka-ching), intubated her (ka-ching), sutured her (ka-ching), gave her fluids (ka-ching) and medications - 3 (ka-ching, ching, ching). I just sat there with the bloody clothes getting tacky, though I was distracted by running down the block to the Dunkin' Donuts, which had the only bathroom in the area. And I called a friend to kill some time before Scout roused after 11 PM.

In the end I coughed up $1,200 to pay for these various treatments and I drug poor old Scout on her wobbly legs back home where I then sat up watching the Law & Order SVU marathon until 1:30. Her cries, whimpers and wheezing had eased enough by then that I felt OK going to bed. But I woke up twice between then and 6:30 to check on her, so all in all about a meagre 4 hours sleep.

And then guess what?

I got to jump up and come back to work!

Where another day of hectic insanity left me without a lunch hour at all (and potty breaks were few and far between, too), and here I am, with quitting time having come, and gone, and I'm still at my post.

Posting.

Edits? Revisions?

Pshaw.

Oh, well, there's always tomorrow.

Didn't someone once say that?

February 15, 2010 - President's Day

Gotta love 3 day weekends, especially coming off the last two weeks of MY life. No wait, make that the last 6 weeks.

First was the last gasp of my Presidency for the Gothic Romance Writers, getting the Board filled in and passing on membership information and cleaning up the Yahoo site. Then came the LAST gasp of my Vice Presidencey's Love & Laughter contest work for the RWA/NYC chapter. Single-handed is so not the way to do the contest, but there I was, every day returning the 27 (record number) of entries to contestants with their judging and commentary sheets. No artist I, then the creation of the Winner's Certificate for her entry - which, if I do say so myself was simply stunning and NOT riddled with hearts and flowers, which is not my thing at all. Then I had to attend the last meeting to hand it out, say goodbyes (although no one seemed interested in saying goodbye, so I just went drinking with Maria and Lis). That weekend would have wound up so much better EXCEPT my oil burner went on the fritz on Sunday evening. Much sturm und drung and having to use a personal day on Monday after NO sleep Sunday night, the oil burner was repaired and that week ended up being just super busy at work. Did I write? Edit? No.

Then came the next weekend. Monday, not bad. The usual overwhelming workload. A super snow storm loomed on the horizon, giving me angst about getting to work on Wednesday. THEN on Tuesday I left my backpack on the train. It would not have been much of a loss, though I love the backpack, but it had all my BILLS in it (personal identity? ID theft?). I leapt off the bus to run back to Penn Station to get it - and got squished between the bus, which just took off, and a construction barricade. A protuberance on the bus slammed into my shoulder and I look like The Rock used it for a heavy bag. Green and yellow and blue from shoulder to elbow and hurts like the Dickens. I raced around like a madwoman trying to locate the bag to no avail. Frantic, I had to go home and then came the snow.

Bam. 17 inches. I shoveled like a robot all day long, 8 episodes from 9 AM to 8 PM. And then 6 inches fell after that. So, I lost a PTO day and still had to get up early and slog through the piled up white stuff. Writing? Editing? Nah.

Thursday arrives and I crawl to work. NYC has no discernable snow, though LI is a white freakin' wonderland. I checked at the Lost & Found in the AM - futiley as it turned out - but just when I thought I was on the brink of the "last straw" scenario, they called and said they'd found my bag.

YAY!

Going home after picking it up and finding all intact, did I write? Nope. Too weak with relief and exhaustion after the adrenalin and besides my shoulder hurt like a Mother.

Friday, I got through the day weak with relief and it was a hugely busy day so getting on the train at end of day was like being freed from a kidnapper.

BUT - I wrote. I read. I edited. I brainstormed.

Saturday - nothing. Exhausted, napped, cooked (great beef stew, BTW) and tried to recuperate.

Sunday - food shopping, bought a Nook and several titles (very cool, by the way and I actually got it up and running with no help from the dimwitted Nook "expert" at B&N). Nice long bath with epsom salts and then I slept from 9:30 to 9:20 AM this morning. Writing? Editing? Revising? Guess again.

So there you have it. It's President's Day and I have the "gotta go back to work Sunday blahs" only a day later. Another snow storm is on the way (lesser amounts - 2-5 we hope, we hope, but they say sleet and rain, which makes the snow heavier and my trees/bushes are already screaming for mercy.).

I've got a curry chicken dish to make for dinner. I have 1 load of laundry in in the vain hope that the 40 degree and sunny (for now) day will dry at least a few loads. The rest will have to hang around the living room/bathroom to dry, because I am OUT of work clothes.

BUT - I will be reading and editing and revising today. For sure. I've made it through 6 weeks of hideousness. The holidays took it out of me and my exultation that, on Jan. 1, I'd be free, was a vain hope. But now I am. The contest is over and everything's handled. The RWA chapter responsibilities are over and done. My Saturdays are free. Work is getting handled and I'm getting used to the stress of working for some of the busiest, and most exacting people in the office.

I've caught up on my sleep and while my housecleaning is lagging behind (Like it's still at the starting line) I'm getting there. And I've got vacation scheduled so I have something to look forward to (including Spring, btw).

So, today I'll be pulling out my MS and gathering the collections of printouts and all those revisions and I'll be prepared to have a fine-tuned first three chapters this week. Plus a serious outline of where I need to improve my scenes, my worldbuilding, my characterizations and then comes the big day:

March 13 - when I go to the Liberty States Conference and pitch my book! I don't know who I got for my editorial and agent choices - hopefully all of them! If not I'll get at least one. And then when I come back - if there has not been a request, then I'll begin my query process to the list of publishers I've already made, none of whom are attending Liberty.

Spring is on the way! My book is in great shape though it does need refining. I'm going to be making my very first submission before long and I've overcome a few weeks of hell.

Bloody but unbowed - definitely battered and bruised - but I made it through.

What did you say?

Oh, right.

So sit down and start writing fool!

October 27, 2009

It's Tuesday of my last vacation week of 2009. And it is raining. And it is going to rain tomorrow. And Saturday. And Sunday. Cripes.

Well, I'm trying to take the Pollyanna approach and be glad - that it is raining; because now I need no excuse as to why I'm not out raking or cleaning the gutters or pruning back dead summer plants. I have to stay in the house and that means I can - ORGANIZE. I'm a total failure at organization. I'm a packrat and I can't throw anything away and I am always absolutely positive EVERYTHING will, one day, be very useful and must be saved. Given that my house is a small, unexpanded Levitt house (Cape style) that means I'm surrounded by chaos.

NaNo is just around the corner and I've got a good idea (a promise to my Mother, actually that the novel will be her Christmas gift - Oy vey.) and I've got some energy going and enthusiasm about getting underway. So what I need to do now is be organized - so I can find those craft references and research books that I will be needing as I go. So I can find my "lucky" fountain pen to write with (it made me absolutely successful in 2006 with my "Just In Time" time travel/romance/suspense/Jack The Ripper thriller....). And so I can feel as though I'm not inundated and overwhelmed (which is usually how I feel).

I'm anxious to get the L&L contest taken care of and wrapped up (I dread going back to my work email and finding the further problems that my judges have emailed me about....) so that I can face the end of the year (Goddess, where HAS it gone?!) and be prepared for 2010 with my life less insane, and my space all neat and organized and ready for me to be productive.

So on that note, guess it's time to CLEAN HOUSE!

July 22, 2009

Holy crap, I actually did it! I got some writing done last night - several pages, in fact. I was feeling inspired on the way home and I'd forgotten to print out the 3rd paranormal chicklit entry that I agreed to judge (vollunteered several times in fact, what's WRONG WITH ME!). But I did get a great amount of work done and am pleased with the choice I made for the prologue (it was one of two ways and I picked the one that I do believe is the stronger choice, though, of course, we'll see).

I got a bit stuck on the intro of Grace, though, and that took a bit of extra time and then when I got home I fell back into that deep rut....watching TV w/ my dinner.

Went to bed timely, though and slept well and so I am thankfully feeling a bit more rested and less gloomy than Monday morning, for example when I really was down in the dumps.

I wish at timees like this that I did have a serious writing friend to talk with. One who desires to keep writing, and is excited by the prospect rather than daunted and depressed. It makes for a sort of loneliness that, while not debilitating, is more wistful?

Ready to greet my day and continue to fight the good fight. Get the responsibilities out of the way and then, LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE I COME! I've already got a great game plan in place.

You just watch me!

Sunday, July 18, 2009

The 2nd half of my weekend is here and I'm feeling a bit worn, down, and overwhelmed. Yesterday's weather was pretty warm (mid-80's). I am always so exhausted on Saturday that I end up just trying to relax and regain some strength following my work week. I didn't sleep all that well last night, so this morning - though I got up at 6:30 - I'm still tired.

Have to get chores done, though. Yard work, esp. but also food store and laundry. Today's to be less warm and very dry so I can anticipate not dropping while doing yard work. But I have a lot to do.

I will have to work in the AMs and PMs to get stuff done unless I always want to have it looming over me on the weekend.

The upshot of all this rambling is that it means less time for my writing that I had hoped today. I'm sitting inside right now, though it is lovely outside, because I am watering (it really needs it). Once it is 10 Am I'll turn to doing laundry, instead. Four or five loads. In between, food store, yard work and then once I've done a few hours of that, THEN I can sit down and start my writing. I've got to enhance my plot outline and do some characterization work on my hero and heroine. I'm very clear on my heroine and her background, and her primary motivation: anger (with a side order of guilt). Hero is less clear, but he is also less conflicted. His motivation is his search for justice.

I wont' be sitting inside at my computer, though, I'll take my notebook and sit outside. I finished Karin Slaughter's latest book yesterday (excellent and gruesome) but while I started the new James Lee Burke Texas-set book, I'm not going to pick it up again today because I fall into the habit of reading too often when I should be writing.

I'm excited about my current project and am looking forward to getting into the process and really feeling the heat!

July 11, 2009

Woo Hoo! It's Saturday. Mild, balmy, breezy and not too hot. A tad more humid than I would like, but there's rain coming later so it will get even more humid then. I am excited by my plans, and the work I've done recently on my new project. I plan on having it complete and ready to pitch at the NJ Put Your Heart In A Book Conference, although there aren't any editors or agents listed yet to get appointments with, so I'm not sure it will prove productive. Besides, if NJ has cut out all the e-pub editors, then there's going to be a real dearth of folks to accomodate all the appointments. It's going to be say, 10 editors instead of 20 or whatever the break down will be. I intend to get an appointment come hell or high water ("first come first served" is the rule, but my request got lost last year and I never got to see the folks I wanted). This year I'm hoping for an Avon Red or Kensington Aphrodesia or NAL or Grand Central pitch editor. Because EXTREME is going to be ready, great and eminently sexxxxxxxy.

I've got a lot of irons in the fire, I know. But I am also looking forward with great relish to the end of December when all of my RWA commitments draw to a close and I can finally get out from under the sense of responsibility for making sure chapter members get their money's worth. Can't do it all, as they say.

Come December I'm going to really wail on my projects, and in the meantime I'm not going to let this bout of cold and exhaustion get me down. I'll need to do some yard and house work, but I'll also get lots of time for myself. And instead of sitting in a chair and reading today, I'll be sitting outside in the breeze and writing!

I've got tons of plans, too, for website, blog, and yahoo groups, as well as newsletters and such.

For now, I've got to deal with my first "guest" on the Writing Love American Style yahoo group. Set some things up, and get it started.

6/1/9 - Getting down to brass tacks

I haven't the foggiest clue what that expression means, but that's my plan for the week as I am now ON VACATION! While I always pray for beautiful weather (not too hot, and at this time of year, with my gardening to do too, certainly not too cold), I am usually thwarted. Sure enough, this morning the latest weather report has added to the 3 days of possible rain this week to make it - 5 DAYS with rain. Today was supposed to be clear until late afternoon, now a possible thunderstorm in the AM. Sheesh.

The upside? More time to write, of course!

So what am I up to? Same old, same old, actually, as has been the case for a bit. I've got my erotic vampire novella up and then my Gothic novella. And in between I am working on an erotic short piece that I hope to submit on my birthday (15 days from now). Beyond that, of course, are my longer projects (as my Grandma always said, my eyes are bigger than my stomach, and it doesn't just mean about food, either!).

Am I the only one who gets so overzealous about projects that not a single one ever reaches fruition? I certainly hope I'm not alone, but then again I wouldn't wish this on others as it is FRUSTRATING!

But I am going for the gusto, the brass ring, the gold, "Just do it!" as Nike says. And by the end of this week I will, by golly, have something to show for it!

5/3/09

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." Woody Allen.

OK, so the Wood-ster tends to annoy me with his bizarre Soon-yi think (way to close to pedophilia for me, but hey, whatever floats your boat, dude - she was, after all legal age).

Whoops, here I am waxing all serious, when what I meant to say was, despite his shortcomings, you have to agree the Wood-ster is hugely amusing.

I was prompted to use this quote because I spent yesterday afternoon laughing. And it could not have been more timely, because I'd spent the day before in a rage. So all was made better by a terrifically funny Patt Mihailoff presentation about life, love, friends, foster care and writing books - romance, horror, historical, confession. She is a great entertainer and as generous with her enthusiasm as she is with her hugs and her support.

So, despite the face that the weathermen were wrong (gasp! could it be so???) and it is raining today - that sort of drizzling, spitting type of weather that means you can't sit outside or work, but it isn't terribly beneficial to anything else, either.

But what I just realized it DID mean is that I don't HAVE to go work outside, clean, rake, plant, etc. I can relax and enjoy the 1 day I do have to myself since yesterday's RWA/NYC chapter brunch, subsequent board meeting and a brief dinner/drinks gathering whereat we watched the Kentucky Derby, and I didn't get home until 9.

So today I have the chance to catch up on my blogging (I've been SO REMISS), as well as get some organizing done, cleaning, and put together a stellar list of questions for my interview of Lauren Willig.

PLUS write a chapter blog on alternative ways to write even if you haven't sold a book. Short Fiction!

But I also have to get involved in my potential, intended Blaze novel, and continue my writing and plotting. I have the overview done and know where I'm going to start and where I'm going to end and how, generally, I intend to get there, but not all the little stops and details along the way.

So I have a day to chill and indulge myself in my writing.

Hoo-rah!

4/15/09

Tax day. Yech. That will be one of my first acts this morning (8:47 am) - to get my taxes done, copy them at staples and then drop them at the post office. It is a pain in the ass but it only will take me about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes to do them.

I just watched the video of Susan Boyle, the 47 year old Scottish woman who walked onto the stage of X Factor (British American Ido) and knocked everyone on their asses by singing a most amazing version of I Dreamed A Dream. She was dowdy, unattractive (but cheeky!) and audience members and judges alike were sneering.

Until she opened her mouth and the first notes came out and Simon Cowell looked like he'd been kicked in the nuts.

She wowed them, changed their minds and had them on their feet and cheering. What an amazing scene.

But more important - Susan Boyle had to know she wasn't a beauty, wasn't a slender young hip thing, and yet she marched out there with all the courage you could possibly imagine.

And I'm going to let THAT be a lesson to ME, too.

Stop wasting time. Stop wondering what if, stop letting excuses rule my life and kill MY dream.

I Dreamed a Dream, too. And I am the only one who can make it come true.

So there.

Off to work on my dream now (after I do my taxes).

04/11/09

Not to piss and moan (though "WISPing" - wallowing in self pity - is one of my best things), but I don't get a lot of support in my writing life. Mom just continues to lambast me for not finishing stuff (which is the biggest of the sticks with which I beat myself mercilessly, so I don't really need her to do it too). The people I know in my day job are clueless, with one exception - a funky gal who fits in with the rest of the mundanes about as well as I do, which is to say, they smile and say hello, but always look at me with that expression of puzzlement that says they just don't get me - and don't ever ask or talk about my writing (nor do they prod me). Another acquaintance took to blasting me, with great anger, whenever the subject of my not writing in sufficient quantity came up. I needed that like a hole in the head and have, essentially, ceased placing myself in the position of having to get yelled at. When I want the yelling fix (right), I can get it at the office. Or at home. Or on the LIRR or the subway, the buses or, hell, right on the street.

SO. I haven't got people cheering me on. Certainly no one particularly complimentary about my abilities. Except for one. One individual who is a talented, multi-genre, multi-published author who, from the very first time this person glimpsed my writing, has never stopped reminded me that my writing is good, better than good, and that I need to get on with it. Get it out there. The nudges are gentle and sprinkled with warmth, humor and support. Not just criticism. And it makes all the difference in the world.

The person in question has been a champion of me in other ways, too, and it is nice to know that there is at least one person in the world who thinks well of me.

So despite the dreary, chill start to my vacation (though hallelujah, the week's 4 days of rain forecast has changed, though the temps will be colder ... at least it will be sunny!), I've got lovely words of enthusiastic support to make my day a bit brighter and warmer and, hell, they got the old creative juices flowing.

Now THAT'S the kind of friends everyone needs at least one of
.
So, thank you, my friend.

04/10/09

I'm on VACATION! Officially at 5:30 I went on vacation (though I'm still at the office). Now, this may sound mundane, but for the 17 years I've worked here I've routinely spent hours after 5:30 cleaning up, getting all the last minute stuff that everyone felt they HAD to give me before I left, and making sure that my station was bee-u-tiful before I left.

But I'm DONE. Spotless, neat, organized, hip-hip-hooray!

A few minutes spent admiring my cubicle and I was a bit late for one train but will take the next, which is actually nicer anyway (more seats).

And since it is Good Friday everyone is gone gone gone from the office, it is silent except for my CD of The Drifters playing (ah, boy, does it take me back!) and I'm ready to pack up and head out.

The upcoming week - as is typical with me for April - will be spent gardening and preparing for my spring and summer gardens (flowers, perennials, herbs, vegetables and so forth). While I won't have unlimited time for writing, what this outdoor work does do is get the tension out. Works my muscles, keeps me out of doors with sun (PLEASE, PLEASE LET THERE BE SUN!) and fresh air and it all serves to clear out the wintery cobwebs of my mind, and set my creative juices flowing - just like the sap of the trees!

The blossoms on my Bradford Pear tree are set to spring open, just like the wealth of ideas and mental energy that will be freed when I head out the door, which is,

NOW!

Welcome to my mad, mad, mad, mad world!

Want to see inside the mind - and experience the world - of an easily-distracted, list-obsessed, pre-published, fiendishly blogging, Bud Lite drinking, bibliomaniacal, snarky, fierce, overly-sensitive, loud, compulsive singing, legal secretary, LIRR commuter, Long Island-living, greyhound adopting, gardening, writer of romance, women's fiction, paranormal, erotica, historical fiction?

This is the place!'

I'm Lise and I'm a writer.

Be afraid.

Be VERY AFRAID.