September 13, 2009

September 11 always bums me out, but this year, for some reason, more than usual. I'm not sure why.

I'm feeling restless and glum and as though my desire to write and be published as a romance author is a bit trivial. I know it isn't! I know that entertainment and books, reading, stories, and ideas are all wonderful things.

Just a momentary thing, I hope.

I'm repeating - like a desperate mantra - "only three more months; only three more months" until my Board duties can be abandoned and I can move on. Naturally I succumed to my pathological volunteerism and am now the non-running Board member sitting on the chapter election committee.

I hope that there are people who want to contribute - I really do. We'll see. Even though it will mean more work for me, I'd like to see a competition and see that there are people who think that donating some of their time and expertise is worthwhile for our chapter.

Tomorrow's Monday. I've had a sinus headache for a week and have written little, but have researched a lot. I'm trying to focus, take vitamins (lots of C) and get "back in the saddle" again so I can write.

Got my rewfund for the NJ conference which I am NOT attending because I don't have anything to pitch but also because there weren't sufficiently interesting editors attending. That may have changed, but now I'm focusing on a pair of vacation weeks during October when I can really hunker down.

O woe is me. Yeah, I know. Blah blah blah. I'll get over it. A good night's sleep and I'll be back in fighting shape.

Write happy (she says)!

September 9, 2009

Well I've been working like a demon to get back to my OWN projects and find the time to focus on ME. I think that time has arrived!

I committed to blogging for Hearts' Seduced blog. Check. Then to the NYC blog. Check. I got the Stilleto entries done & sent. The HH contest sank. The L&L contest is on track (final judge, luring 1st round judges, 2 announcements out, the 3rd to go today). Though with only 2 entries and 3 weeks to go - well, I don't know.

Having witnessed so many chapter members' success in recent days I have redoubled my efforts to step out of the "supportive" spotlight and into a nice, dark corner where I can scribble away.

Tons of ideas, so I've picked one to focus on (enough of the timetables, lists, and other detritus of my life - I'm plowing through one project until it is done. Otherwise I'll get nowhere.

I canceled my attendance at the NJ conference (and received my refund which will be a big plus in this tough, tough month). I have no obstacles before me - except for the GAA event which is next week and then, mercifully, over. The october 1 deadline for the contest is the only thing looming and then distribution and then finis (more or less).

For now, I'm happy that the creative juices' faucet is running again. My Great Books Project is up and running. My WWII yahoo group is up (though jogging would be a more appropriate term, I think, than "running"). And I'm slowly stepping back from the weight of responsibility.

Good for me!

Anyway, I'm working on a project that's intriguied me for years. Going with what I "love" for now.

August 16, 2009

Sultry summer has arrived, at least for the short-term. It makes everything harder - including writing - for me. Besides yard work, house work, and work-work, I'm just drained by the commute, by sweating 24/7 and by forecasts that predict this current mini-wave will last through Wednesday. BUT, I'm in front of the fan today, and while I do have significant yard work (imagine cleaning up Jurassic park - that's about the size of my task) I'll have to break it into little bite-sized pieces in order not to collapse of heat stroke. Instead, I'm going to take blocks of time today and relax in front of the fan and work on my current piece. Or should I say pieces? My biggest problem - stick-to-it-ive-ness. Or, as my Grandmother often accused: "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

So what have I got on tap? My novella, The Diary of Desiree Lee, for the Gothic Red Rose novella project. I haven't made any progress to speak of on the Vampire erotic novella anthology, though I don't think I'm alone there....But I have my current, personal, full-lenght project, "Extreme" (working title) underway and I am very excited by it. With luck that means I'll be able to focus on it and not let my mind wander.

My original plans were to have this ready for the New Jersey conference, but at this rate, I won't have it done, AND since NJ's roster of editors attending was JUST posted (2 months after registration began) and there are only THREE editors attending - from Lachesis (Canadian small press), Crescent Moon (e-pub of fantasy/paranormal only) and Samhain - to whom I can submit without an agent anyway, it doesn't motivate me very much. So I'll have to find my own motivation.

What my "long term personal forecast" is: December 31, 2009 - the date on which I retake my life and my energies and can focus on my projects, branding, and everything else that goes along with being a successful writer. Instead of a successful volunteer.

July 22, 2009

Holy crap, I actually did it! I got some writing done last night - several pages, in fact. I was feeling inspired on the way home and I'd forgotten to print out the 3rd paranormal chicklit entry that I agreed to judge (vollunteered several times in fact, what's WRONG WITH ME!). But I did get a great amount of work done and am pleased with the choice I made for the prologue (it was one of two ways and I picked the one that I do believe is the stronger choice, though, of course, we'll see).

I got a bit stuck on the intro of Grace, though, and that took a bit of extra time and then when I got home I fell back into that deep rut....watching TV w/ my dinner.

Went to bed timely, though and slept well and so I am thankfully feeling a bit more rested and less gloomy than Monday morning, for example when I really was down in the dumps.

I wish at timees like this that I did have a serious writing friend to talk with. One who desires to keep writing, and is excited by the prospect rather than daunted and depressed. It makes for a sort of loneliness that, while not debilitating, is more wistful?

Ready to greet my day and continue to fight the good fight. Get the responsibilities out of the way and then, LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE I COME! I've already got a great game plan in place.

You just watch me!

Sunday, July 18, 2009

The 2nd half of my weekend is here and I'm feeling a bit worn, down, and overwhelmed. Yesterday's weather was pretty warm (mid-80's). I am always so exhausted on Saturday that I end up just trying to relax and regain some strength following my work week. I didn't sleep all that well last night, so this morning - though I got up at 6:30 - I'm still tired.

Have to get chores done, though. Yard work, esp. but also food store and laundry. Today's to be less warm and very dry so I can anticipate not dropping while doing yard work. But I have a lot to do.

I will have to work in the AMs and PMs to get stuff done unless I always want to have it looming over me on the weekend.

The upshot of all this rambling is that it means less time for my writing that I had hoped today. I'm sitting inside right now, though it is lovely outside, because I am watering (it really needs it). Once it is 10 Am I'll turn to doing laundry, instead. Four or five loads. In between, food store, yard work and then once I've done a few hours of that, THEN I can sit down and start my writing. I've got to enhance my plot outline and do some characterization work on my hero and heroine. I'm very clear on my heroine and her background, and her primary motivation: anger (with a side order of guilt). Hero is less clear, but he is also less conflicted. His motivation is his search for justice.

I wont' be sitting inside at my computer, though, I'll take my notebook and sit outside. I finished Karin Slaughter's latest book yesterday (excellent and gruesome) but while I started the new James Lee Burke Texas-set book, I'm not going to pick it up again today because I fall into the habit of reading too often when I should be writing.

I'm excited about my current project and am looking forward to getting into the process and really feeling the heat!

July 15, 2009

It's Wednesday, HUMP DAY, and it's a bit warmer, a bit more humid, but hey, we've had a purely perfect summer so far and I'm not complaining. As long as it doesn't last long...

I've got 1 chore down (the BDSM article for NYC Keynotes). GothRom got 2 entries now and I have to do the reminder announcements. Not going to bother looking for a 2nd judge since I doubt we'll even get ten entries, much less 20. NYC's chapter presentation - dialogue, well I can do that in my sleep having already covered dialogue in my voice presentation AND my senses presentation (and having thought about it alot as well). GR membership is the big bugaboo right now, then a Bd. meeting. Mr. Texas is getting quieter and quieter - he didn't even respond to my naughty little email last night, even though he knew I was sending it - it should just go away, really. It's silly and not real anymore and a waste of both our time and effort putting on this face. Ah, well.

As for my writing - I wrote just a few lines last night but had a wonderful idea for a brief, taut prologue that will set up the heroine and the adversary quite nicely. And I have the motivation for my heroine: ANGER. Anger at everything, including being left when her father died, abandoned emotionally by her mother and forced to take on the responsibilities, and ultimately anger at her mother's betrayal and her abusive stepfather. And when our story starts anger at her stepsister for refusing to help herself, and anger, lastly, at herself for not succeeding in helping her stepsister. The anger, coupled with the sense of abandonment, loneliness and the fact that all her life she's been forced to be in charge, to be in command, to take care of everything = she's ripe to be cared for, commanded - in short, dominated by our hero. I think I'll make him Francisco - no, Master Cisco just doesn't have agood ring to it.

But I'll get there. I must eschew the Damians, Lucians, etc. that I like so much. Nick? Hmmm.

July 11, 2009

Woo Hoo! It's Saturday. Mild, balmy, breezy and not too hot. A tad more humid than I would like, but there's rain coming later so it will get even more humid then. I am excited by my plans, and the work I've done recently on my new project. I plan on having it complete and ready to pitch at the NJ Put Your Heart In A Book Conference, although there aren't any editors or agents listed yet to get appointments with, so I'm not sure it will prove productive. Besides, if NJ has cut out all the e-pub editors, then there's going to be a real dearth of folks to accomodate all the appointments. It's going to be say, 10 editors instead of 20 or whatever the break down will be. I intend to get an appointment come hell or high water ("first come first served" is the rule, but my request got lost last year and I never got to see the folks I wanted). This year I'm hoping for an Avon Red or Kensington Aphrodesia or NAL or Grand Central pitch editor. Because EXTREME is going to be ready, great and eminently sexxxxxxxy.

I've got a lot of irons in the fire, I know. But I am also looking forward with great relish to the end of December when all of my RWA commitments draw to a close and I can finally get out from under the sense of responsibility for making sure chapter members get their money's worth. Can't do it all, as they say.

Come December I'm going to really wail on my projects, and in the meantime I'm not going to let this bout of cold and exhaustion get me down. I'll need to do some yard and house work, but I'll also get lots of time for myself. And instead of sitting in a chair and reading today, I'll be sitting outside in the breeze and writing!

I've got tons of plans, too, for website, blog, and yahoo groups, as well as newsletters and such.

For now, I've got to deal with my first "guest" on the Writing Love American Style yahoo group. Set some things up, and get it started.